Three years ago today, Ashley and I stood onstage with our girls as I was introduced as the Lead Pastor at First Christian Church. I stepped into my role full of vision, passion, and maybe just a little bit of naivety. Or a lot. The journey has been both deeply rewarding and incredibly challenging. There have been wins, losses, unexpected plot twists, and moments of sheer exhaustion. But through it all, God has been good and faithful. And I have grown in some ways I never expected.
I’m definitely still a work in progress, but here are three lessons I’ve learned in these three years that I hope will encourage and challenge you, whether you’re a pastor, a leader, or simply someone trying to live faithfully in the calling God has given you.
1. You Can’t Do It Alone (And You Shouldn’t Try)
I have always had a strong drive to prove myself. I’ve thought if I worked hard enough, planned well enough, and made the right decisions, we would see the kind of growth and transformation I dreamed about. I’m also really bad at asking for help. But regardless of the size of the church, organization, business, or “thing” you lead, leadership is too big for one person. This is especially true in ministry. I can tell you from experience that burnout is real and pride is dangerous.
First and foremost, I’ve learned that my wife is not just my best friend, but also my most critical partner in ministry. Her support and encouragement has kept me focused, on track, often held me together. I’m learning to be more open and to communicate more often so that she can encourage and pray for me. She’s how God most often speaks truth and grace to me. We all need that person in our lives and I’m so thankful I have her!
I’ve also learned that delegation isn’t just about making my life easier; it’s about empowering others to step into their God-given calling. The church isn’t built on the talents of a few but on the faithfulness of many. Surrounding myself with a strong team, trusting them, and releasing control has been a game-changer. I still have to remind myself daily that leadership isn’t about doing everything—it’s about equipping others to do what God has called them to do.
More than anything, my prayers have changed. I’m learning to lean on God in ways I never have before. When the weight of leadership feels overwhelming, when the decisions are too complex, and when my own strength or patience runs out, I’ve realized that God’s strength is more than enough, but I have to choose to lean into it. And for those of us who are driven, Type-A, “I can take this hill myself” kind of people, leaning on anyone (even God) is not easy). But prayer isn’t just a leadership tool—it’s the lifeline. I’ve found that the more I surrender my plans, my worries, and my need for control to Him, the more I experience His peace and guidance. The call to lead is ultimately a call to trust—because without Him, we can do nothing.
2. Growth Takes Time and Faithfulness Beats Flashiness
In a culture obsessed with instant results, it’s easy to feel like ministry should be measured by how quickly things grow. I used to believe that if we weren’t seeing fast, visible growth, something must be wrong. But I’ve learned that true, healthy growth takes time. It’s not about quick wins but long-term faithfulness.
Some seasons feel like nothing is happening. Some sermons feel like they don’t land. Some initiatives fail. But faithfulness—week in and week out—is what builds a strong church and a strong leader. Jesus compared the Kingdom of God to a mustard seed for a reason. Growth starts small, often unnoticed, but over time, it becomes something significant.
In his book Peace with God, Billy Graham wrote, “Our job in life is not to be successful, but to be faithful. Many Christians would prefer to hear ‘What a great guy’ from the crowd, rather than ‘Well done, good and faithful servant’ from the Master.”
Success in ministry isn’t about going viral; it’s about being faithful to the calling God has given you, even when no one seems to notice.
3. Criticism Is Inevitable, But It Doesn’t Have to Crush You
Perry Noble said, “If you want to call the shots, you’re going to take some shots.”
No matter how well you lead, how much you pray, or how pure your intentions are, you will be criticized. Some of it will be fair and constructive; much of it will be petty and unfair.
Early on, I took every piece of criticism personally, questioning my leadership and calling whenever someone disagreed with a decision or left the church.
Over time, I’ve learned that criticism is part of the job. The key is learning how to filter it. Some feedback is gold—it helps you grow, reveals blind spots, and makes you a better leader. But other criticism? It’s just noise. Learning to discern the difference and not letting unfair criticism take root in my heart has been one of the most freeing lessons of my leadership.
I’m making it a habit to remind myself often: I am accountable to God first, not to public opinion. Pleasing people is not my job—leading them toward Jesus is.
Like many of you, I’m sure, I’m also my own worst critic. I’m a perfectionist, and my highest expectations are always of myself. I beat myself up over every failure or misstep, big or small. So these words are life-giving to me when I’m wrestling with self-criticism:
“This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” (1 John 3:19-20)
Final Thoughts
Three years in, I still have a lot to learn. But if I could go back and give myself advice at the start of this journey, it would be this:
- You’re not meant to carry this alone—trust the people around you.
- Be faithful in the little things; big things take time.
- Don’t let criticism from others or from yourself define you—stay focused on Jesus.
To every leader out there who feels weary, wondering if what you’re doing is making a difference—keep going. The work you’re doing matters more than you know. And in the end, it’s not about how impressive our leadership looks, but how faithful we were to the One who called us in the first place.
Three years down. Here’s to whatever God has next. The best is yet to come.
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